Goli/Dirty Sally

Logged into blog-home page-thing saw Aqseer had put up a post about riding her bike Juno and I thought why not me? Why haven't I put something like that up I mean I have a picture of her on my page so why not a post?

If you haven't seen the pic, I'll tell you she's a Electra 5S Bullet, (Royal Enfield if you MUST know). Black, or as the dealer calls it "magic black" (basicallly looks deep green when the sun shines on it) I'll make no bones in telling you I wanted her in olive green. BUT I still adore her :)

My relationship with my bike is not romantic. I do not expect her to take me to fabled lands nor do I consider it necessary to remember trifling details like the date when I got her. (either that, or that is one hell of a good excuse for not remembering :P).

Very simply put I  love her more than I have loved any material possession (oh yes i did, not romantic clearly)I've ever had there is really no time that the she's far from my mind, even now the last day of the trim when I have to leave her I feel the same anxiety I felt the first time I left her. And when I see her when I get back or after she's gotten serviced my heart still feels nervous like meeting a girl for the first time or after a VERY long time. I do SO adore her.

The Nomenclature

 My relationship with her has been nothing less than any full time relationship I've had with any girl I have ever seen in my life. We love AND hate each other :) Been in love? You know what I'm talking about :P. So it was obvious if she have a name it be female, hoever I didn't know this within the first few days of hgetting her so had to go for something more gender neutral decided for the more apt and actually uninventive but surprisingly uncommon "goli" simply because goli is a literal translation for bullet and I insist on naming desi style (heck my car was called gaadi baba). SO for the first year and a half she remained goli.

However one day I had an epiphany. I realised the whole point about love-hate clearly female thing (in re above) [apologies to all "hardcore" bikers that take offence to my calling her female over and over again but its simply to drive the point that I am NOT riding a male thank you very much, since I'm apologising already lets apologies to any women that take offence no neither riding nor the bullet are sole male domains in FACT nothing turns me on more than a woman with a bike ESPECIALLY a bullet (God that woman in the RE commercials witht he piercings wearing the sneakers is still hot enough to make others and I mean ALL other look like junk compared to her and keep me staring, Lady if you're out there MAIL me and if ayone knows who she is please tell me, sorry back to the point] and decided she needed to be rechristened and I chose, you guessed it, DIRTY SALLY. It personifies her , she is MY dirty Sally she rides me hard and she rides me dirty and she LOVES it dirty, sometimes I'm confused as to who's riding whom, why Sally? I don't know (it was a bloody epiphany you know).

The Failures

The failures have been quite a few, the latest one was not entirely my fault (or so I like to believe I think Zaheer Bhai's mystery engine oil whose brand he never let me see is also to blame, and yes me too I didnt get the engie oil changed and rode for near 6 months and yes no servicing either (please don't smite me Zeus). Till date I have had one engine failure, this one, and two falls resulting in body damage.

The list of parts changed and work done are as follows:

1) Cylinder barrel

2) Cylinder resurfacing

3) Handlebars

4) Spark Plug

5) Rear Tyre Tube

6) Headlight garnish

7) Ignition key hole thing

8) Denting work on mud guard especially

9) Oil pump cleaning

10) Silencer garnish heat guard thing

11) Right foot rest twice

12) The right side rear footrest is still hanging loose

13)Head light bulb

14) Pilot lights

15) one indicator bulb

16)oil tubing

17) BOTH mirrors

I think that's about it in addition there've been the regular servicing of course.

The Successes

I say this in full consciousness and without any duress.

There. Is. No. Other Bike. I. Would. Ride. In The. World. Right. Now. I Will. Never. Sell. Her. Under. No. Circumstance. (maybe if I'm still hungry after selling my kids, but that's also maybe :P)

The first time I started up her motor I knew I loved her. The first time I felt the pang of her being unwell (incidentally the evening I brought her hoome from the service centre) I knew I loved her. The Period of the break in when I scoured the net for info and made sure I adhered to everythng I knew I Loved Her. The first time I hit the highway on her I knew I loved her. The first time she stalled and overheated on me I knew I loved her. The first time I had a flat tyre I knew I loved her. Both times I had my accident I loved her mroe than ever cause she took the brunt and curled while i escaped virtually unscatehd. She loves me too I know it I can hear her say it in every piston pump in every  rotation in every TDC motion.

Sh rode me to Mysore and halfway multiple times it was gorgeous. She rode me to mysore on the way to Ooty on a whim at 5 in the morning without servicing without a complaint, would've taken me to Ooty but my companions heart was weak :P.

Riding her is like being on anohter planet it is another level of control altogether AND i kid you not soemtimes I am so sure she has a mind of her own steering me instead of me steering her playfully goading me to speed sternly reprimanding to slow down.

Your hind footrest maybe loose, your bend tube coloured blue, your brake lever turned downwards not to mention the slight crumpling on  your mud guard and the rust whcih I take the balme for but Goli/Dirty Sally I love you.

You're my only one and true.

My love for you is not romantic, but I can never curse you, nor ever blame you.

I would say everyone should buy a bullet, then we choudl all go on a massive roadtrip.

p.s. I spend most of my nights dreaming of her or long trips on her THAT'S how much you fall in love with this bike. Reader if in Blore beg borrow steal but get a bullet, let's go ona ride

p.p.s. poster girl...CALL me :P