Today I realised how important a role music plays in human life, there was this song I'd been searching for for about 10 odd years now which incidentally is half my life...from a tiny age it had been playing on loop in my head sometimes for days on end...hmm hm hm hm hmmm hmmm hmmm la hmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmmm...i alos realised little quests that each person knowing or unknowingly sets for oneself...today that culmianted and in the most odd of manners, not woth endless youtubing looking for old spice ads and boxers and beaches which I'd associated with the soing but while studying DPC my roomie played the osng..and i just forze I hadn't heard it in the said 10 odd years, i hesitantly asked him "George, what is that song you're playing?" and he matter of factly replied "vangelis conquest of paradise" didn't ring a bell but boy oh boy the music sure did been listening to it on loop for 20 odd mins no sign of letting up...well on to the next conquest...if only I could remember off hand what it was...

Vangelis Conquest of Paradise= Nirvana 

What a song 

What a song

What a song

What a song

What a song

What's the big idea?

I have often asked myself, why do we exist? What is the purpose? IS there a purpose? Not just humans, no, life at all…why does it exist? Is there something we don’t know? Or is it something we know but choose not to acknowledge?

I may say…I will try to answer this question…but is there a reason why I should answer the question? Many people deplore base actions, and people who choose to be content in just living their lives having a home, eating food, procreating are criticised by others when the others want them to stand up and do something. Is that “something” the purpose? Is it not just something the second person believes in.

 

We love and we hate we have emotions but why? Do emotions solve a purpose? some people say “ jasbaat ke jhaanse mein mat aao, apna kaam karo” but in not recognising our emotions are we not again reducing ourselves to the very same bare subsistence which those very same people seem to deplore? So are emotions existent only as hindrances or are they the purpose?

 

People around the world have attributed these answers to be mysteries and attributed creation of life to God, but I wish to ask, why did god do it then? Why did he create life? Was it so he could reign over something, is he/she then so base in his own motives so selfish so self obsessed? But the people who believe in him/her say he’s not then once again why? And why should the universe in which God is exist?

 

I’m told these are questions, the answer to which would serve us no purpose…but then what will? Working our asses off so we may earn so we may compete so we grow up to have families raise children who’ll do the same? Is it not possible the recognition of the reply to these questions would in fact serve us a purpose, that of giving us a purpose?

 

It is funny but its easiest to find purpose in that which is labelled as socially destructive phenomenon, for example smoking or doing drugs they serve the purpose of taking the man or woman as the case may be away from a reality that does not suit him/her helping them find clarity in understanding their issues. Violent revolutions too, have a purpose they serve to vent the peoples anger, frustration at the inability to set things right where there is most blatantly a wrong. It is a sick kind of hopelessness, which one cannot understand till one is confronted with it but I hope no one ever is.

 

Love may be seen to serve either of two purposes one is the justification offered by the base subsistence theory and the other the one offered by the emotional theory. As per the base subsistence theory love is nothing more but a series of chemical reactions set off in the body when a suitable “mate” is found with whom one may procreate. The other is the theory of emotions where love may be looked upon as a sanity keeping device in a world of insanity, its rare but when you do meet that one person everything feels perfect everything falls in place you feel a new person, but the lop side is you become dependant to the extent you cannot exist without the other.

 

But the question still remains…

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE??!!

Pain and drudgery rule the roost

Life takes a backseat ion this drive

Of pain and suffering in this hell

Where the sulphur stench rises

And so does the pain

The only thing that ebbs away

Is human moral gain

These people they walk in

Who do they think they are?

They walk in, tell us what to do

Do they realize we put them there?

Not to hurt but to teach

While the former they have mastered

The latter long forgot

Life, has forsaken me once again

Left me alone on these crossroads

Why am i to make these decisions on my own?

Visions that just scar my brain

Cancer that eats me away

I think I’m all done...all done...all done...

Blasted ideas right from my vein

Pain that helps keep me sane

Life has left me to my fate

Lying on these tracks of dates

Time just keeps passing me by

The sun just shines

Into my face

But i do not feel

its warmth... its warmth... its warmth...

We are all alone

We come alone

And go alone

Why do we crave for company then

When we know that we are so alone

Why do we then sing

Those songs of you and me

When its only you and only me

Why do we then crave

To see that face?

To know there’s someone to see us through

In any case

Why do we long then in the distance

When in fact all there is

Is the dry cold distance

Why does it perturb us then

When an instant is all it takes

To move men away

And women to say another day

THE WHORE

As I walk right through the mist

Distant faces jump out at me

Calling out to hold my hand

Seeing me and embracing me

Out of the crowd one face stands out
Not a word, nor a smile

Just a face like cold hard tile,

But in her eyes just then I saw

A look of love and of faith a look gone too soon to know

Why she looked at me so

Too soon to know why she came

Was she there or am I insane

A look of warmth like I’d never known

Who was she now, why was she there?

Why my breath did she ensnare?

And now I return back to my cave

Where love not permeates, only hate

Cold, and low, it’s freezing back there,

But, now i know i will survive

For now i know

A breath so rare

A warmth so deep, like I’d never known

Warmth so warm that’s found nowhere

I’ll come again, will you be there?